TNA impact REPORT from WO
Feb 16, 2007 13:13:49 GMT -5
Post by swarm on Feb 16, 2007 13:13:49 GMT -5
2/16/2007 1:32:00 AM
TNA Impact TV report
by Jeff Hamlin
TNA Review 2.15
By Jeff Hamlin (jhamlin@wchl1360.com)
The Big News: Samoa Joe is the new #1 contender for Christian Cage’s NWA World Heavyweight Championship after winning an 18-man gauntlet match (basically a Royal Rumble which could end with a pinfall or submission). It was the funniest show in months, and the humor was intentional to boot.
Scott Steiner came out for an interview to open the show. He said two months ago, Christian Cage called him trying to figure out how to beat Kurt Angle. Steiner claimed to have defeated John Cena and Batista, and claims he would have defeated HHH if he hadn’t been sleeping with the boss’ daughter. I just spent ten minutes looking online for any records of a Cena/Steiner or Batista/Steiner match, and I can’t find one. Next thing you’ll know, he’ll say he faced Richard Slater at the local penitentiary in a shower match. Steiner said Kurt Angle’s wife kept calling him, and ordered her to tell his very *friendly* person (I think that’s what he said, it was bleeped out) to stop phoning. Angle came out and basically said Steiner was a negative influence in the locker room. I guess Terry Taylor wrote this promo. It ended up in a big brawl, where Angle hit a German suplex and clamped on the ankle lock. Tomko, even though he’s supposed to hate Steiner, did a run-in, only to suffer the same fate. This brought out Christian Cage, who got hit with a belly-to-belly suplex and an ankle lock, as well. Steiner recovered to nail Angle, and the heels put the boots to him before the entire face locker room, led by Samoa Joe, made the save. With so many hitting the ring, I guess they were saying with Steiner in the company, the locker room would be a bad place to be. In that case, they’re about four months late.
They teased the new Elevation X cage match.
LAX did an interview where Konnan, still in a wheelchair, ran down Team 3-D.
Cage did a funny interview with Steiner and Tomko. He tried to talk them into eliminating the other 16 men in the Gauntlet match, and then forfeit the title shot so Cage could remain champion. He tried to play it up like the three were a big family. Steiner blew him off. Then Cage said Tomko was like a son to him, but Tomko also walked away.
LAX defeated Shark Boy and Norman Smiley in :55. Squash. Homicide pinned Shark Boy after a senton. Team 3-D appeared on the big screen afterwards, introducing Cousin Steve. They didn’t make this clear in commentary, but it was Steve Schirippa from the Sopranos. Since LAX used extra reinforcements at Against All Odds, Ray vowed to bring in the Wiseguys. He challenged them to a Belting Pot match on next week’s show, which sounds like a lumberjacks with straps match. Schirippa vowed to get involved. This was never really sold by the announcers, which is insane. Never to be outdone, Konnan told Ray to bring in the Sopranos, Goodfellas, and Emeril Lagasse. It’s foolish to go head up on the mic with Konnan, because he’s doing a great job of turning his team face. DUD
Eric Young, as basically the servant of Robert Roode, did an interview with Miss Brooks. When Young reminded her that she told him she loved him, Brooks laughed and made fun of him. Roode started ordering Young around, since he’s now under contract to him.
Gail Kim defeated Jacqueline Moore in an arm wrestling match. Moore, who is African-American, came out wearing a confederate cowboy hat. Not much for political correctness, but she’s no Tim Hardaway. Thank God. Not much to the match, as Moore didn’t even do any heel mannerisms. Moore attacked Kim afterwards, but Kim got the better of the offense before James Storm double-teamed her. Petey Williams ran in for the save, only to be cut off by Storm. Then Chris Harris ran-in, and everyone bailed.
Chris Sabin, still doing the lame old man gimmick to impugn Jerry Lynn, did an interview. His teeth was in a glass, and he just mumbled through the interview. Bob Backland showed up and said something about Sabin making fun of people at a retirement home. He said he was going to find someone to take Sabin out in the ladder match next week.
This week’s Paparazzi Video was Paparazzi Idol. The show doesn’t need any more comedy segments, but this was the funniest of the bunch this week. Jay Lethal started singing Amazing Grace, which Kevin Nash (acting like Simon Cowell) thought was pathetic. Then Lethal started doing Randy Savage impressions. Savage impressions are a dime a dozen, but Lethal did his mannerisms to the bone. So Cal Val was acting drunk (like Paula Abdul). Not bad.
At the other end of the comedy spectrum, we got the latest Ron Killings movie, where he was Rocky Blackboa. He had some fat woman with him. Great, it failed for Shelton Benjamin last year, let’s use it now. Lame.
Samoa Joe won the 18-man Gauntlet Match. Jim Cornette was on commentary with Mike Tenay and Don West. Rules were a man entered every minute, and it was an over-the-top rope battle royal. When it reached the final two men, the match was decided by pins or submissions. Sting and A.J. Styles opened. Styles ducked a Stinger splash early. Rhino came in, and just as he was getting momentum, they cut to a commercial. They badly need to change the format of this show. After the break, Chris Sabin, Kip James and James Storm had entered, and Abyss followed. Chris Sabin, going for a huracanrana on Abyss, was dumped out. So Sabin, the X-Division champion who was played up for comedy earlier, was the first one out. I would say it’s another nail in the coffin of the X-Division, except the coffin has been in the ground, and Nash set it on fire. Kurt Angle came in, and backdropped Strom over. Tomko was next in, and immediately attacked Sting. Rhino tried to power bomb Styles over, but Tomko came over to dump both out. Angle followed by German suplexing Tomko. Samoa Joe came in, and threw Kip James out. Another commercial. Upon return, Robert Roode, B.G. James and Eric Young got in, followed by Scott Steiner, who threw James out. Sting saved Angle from being dumped out by Tomko and Steiner. Joe eliminated Abyss with a drop kick. Angle German suplexed Roode, but Steiner threw Angle out. Roode was pounding on Sting, and ordered Young to join him, but he refused. Sting recovered, did a Stinger splash on Roode, and threw him out. Roode then ordered Young to get eliminated. Instead, Tomko did the honors, and threw Young out like he got launched by a cannon. Steiner then eliminated Sting. This left one face, in Joe, against two heels, Tomko and Steiner. Tomko and Steiner spent several minutes tossing him around. Steiner threw Joe over the top, but he landed on the apron. Tomko and Steiner started arguing over who would knock him off the apron, until Joe recovered and threw Steiner from the apron. Joe and Tomko squared off in a match, where Joe won with a muscle buster for the pin. An irate Cage came out, and the heels threatened a 3-on-1, but Angle ran in to make it 3-on-2 as the show went off the air.
SUMMARY: Not much for wrestling, but what TNA show is anymore? Watching this head-to-head against Raw really screams out how second-rate TNA is. It’s almost like WCW in 2000. There are too may stars (like Steiner, VKM, Jarrett, Sting) that just come across second-rate in this day and age. It’s time for this company to start building by taking chances on unproven talent, like Sabin, Lethal, Dutt, etc. Sound too risky? Good. Some of those won’t pan out. Others may be great leaders for the future. Ask yourself this. Can this company make a breakthrough with names that were tired seven years ago? Then why should we think they can do anything now?
______________________________________________
When WO says TNA sucks you know it's getting bad...
TNA Impact TV report
by Jeff Hamlin
TNA Review 2.15
By Jeff Hamlin (jhamlin@wchl1360.com)
The Big News: Samoa Joe is the new #1 contender for Christian Cage’s NWA World Heavyweight Championship after winning an 18-man gauntlet match (basically a Royal Rumble which could end with a pinfall or submission). It was the funniest show in months, and the humor was intentional to boot.
Scott Steiner came out for an interview to open the show. He said two months ago, Christian Cage called him trying to figure out how to beat Kurt Angle. Steiner claimed to have defeated John Cena and Batista, and claims he would have defeated HHH if he hadn’t been sleeping with the boss’ daughter. I just spent ten minutes looking online for any records of a Cena/Steiner or Batista/Steiner match, and I can’t find one. Next thing you’ll know, he’ll say he faced Richard Slater at the local penitentiary in a shower match. Steiner said Kurt Angle’s wife kept calling him, and ordered her to tell his very *friendly* person (I think that’s what he said, it was bleeped out) to stop phoning. Angle came out and basically said Steiner was a negative influence in the locker room. I guess Terry Taylor wrote this promo. It ended up in a big brawl, where Angle hit a German suplex and clamped on the ankle lock. Tomko, even though he’s supposed to hate Steiner, did a run-in, only to suffer the same fate. This brought out Christian Cage, who got hit with a belly-to-belly suplex and an ankle lock, as well. Steiner recovered to nail Angle, and the heels put the boots to him before the entire face locker room, led by Samoa Joe, made the save. With so many hitting the ring, I guess they were saying with Steiner in the company, the locker room would be a bad place to be. In that case, they’re about four months late.
They teased the new Elevation X cage match.
LAX did an interview where Konnan, still in a wheelchair, ran down Team 3-D.
Cage did a funny interview with Steiner and Tomko. He tried to talk them into eliminating the other 16 men in the Gauntlet match, and then forfeit the title shot so Cage could remain champion. He tried to play it up like the three were a big family. Steiner blew him off. Then Cage said Tomko was like a son to him, but Tomko also walked away.
LAX defeated Shark Boy and Norman Smiley in :55. Squash. Homicide pinned Shark Boy after a senton. Team 3-D appeared on the big screen afterwards, introducing Cousin Steve. They didn’t make this clear in commentary, but it was Steve Schirippa from the Sopranos. Since LAX used extra reinforcements at Against All Odds, Ray vowed to bring in the Wiseguys. He challenged them to a Belting Pot match on next week’s show, which sounds like a lumberjacks with straps match. Schirippa vowed to get involved. This was never really sold by the announcers, which is insane. Never to be outdone, Konnan told Ray to bring in the Sopranos, Goodfellas, and Emeril Lagasse. It’s foolish to go head up on the mic with Konnan, because he’s doing a great job of turning his team face. DUD
Eric Young, as basically the servant of Robert Roode, did an interview with Miss Brooks. When Young reminded her that she told him she loved him, Brooks laughed and made fun of him. Roode started ordering Young around, since he’s now under contract to him.
Gail Kim defeated Jacqueline Moore in an arm wrestling match. Moore, who is African-American, came out wearing a confederate cowboy hat. Not much for political correctness, but she’s no Tim Hardaway. Thank God. Not much to the match, as Moore didn’t even do any heel mannerisms. Moore attacked Kim afterwards, but Kim got the better of the offense before James Storm double-teamed her. Petey Williams ran in for the save, only to be cut off by Storm. Then Chris Harris ran-in, and everyone bailed.
Chris Sabin, still doing the lame old man gimmick to impugn Jerry Lynn, did an interview. His teeth was in a glass, and he just mumbled through the interview. Bob Backland showed up and said something about Sabin making fun of people at a retirement home. He said he was going to find someone to take Sabin out in the ladder match next week.
This week’s Paparazzi Video was Paparazzi Idol. The show doesn’t need any more comedy segments, but this was the funniest of the bunch this week. Jay Lethal started singing Amazing Grace, which Kevin Nash (acting like Simon Cowell) thought was pathetic. Then Lethal started doing Randy Savage impressions. Savage impressions are a dime a dozen, but Lethal did his mannerisms to the bone. So Cal Val was acting drunk (like Paula Abdul). Not bad.
At the other end of the comedy spectrum, we got the latest Ron Killings movie, where he was Rocky Blackboa. He had some fat woman with him. Great, it failed for Shelton Benjamin last year, let’s use it now. Lame.
Samoa Joe won the 18-man Gauntlet Match. Jim Cornette was on commentary with Mike Tenay and Don West. Rules were a man entered every minute, and it was an over-the-top rope battle royal. When it reached the final two men, the match was decided by pins or submissions. Sting and A.J. Styles opened. Styles ducked a Stinger splash early. Rhino came in, and just as he was getting momentum, they cut to a commercial. They badly need to change the format of this show. After the break, Chris Sabin, Kip James and James Storm had entered, and Abyss followed. Chris Sabin, going for a huracanrana on Abyss, was dumped out. So Sabin, the X-Division champion who was played up for comedy earlier, was the first one out. I would say it’s another nail in the coffin of the X-Division, except the coffin has been in the ground, and Nash set it on fire. Kurt Angle came in, and backdropped Strom over. Tomko was next in, and immediately attacked Sting. Rhino tried to power bomb Styles over, but Tomko came over to dump both out. Angle followed by German suplexing Tomko. Samoa Joe came in, and threw Kip James out. Another commercial. Upon return, Robert Roode, B.G. James and Eric Young got in, followed by Scott Steiner, who threw James out. Sting saved Angle from being dumped out by Tomko and Steiner. Joe eliminated Abyss with a drop kick. Angle German suplexed Roode, but Steiner threw Angle out. Roode was pounding on Sting, and ordered Young to join him, but he refused. Sting recovered, did a Stinger splash on Roode, and threw him out. Roode then ordered Young to get eliminated. Instead, Tomko did the honors, and threw Young out like he got launched by a cannon. Steiner then eliminated Sting. This left one face, in Joe, against two heels, Tomko and Steiner. Tomko and Steiner spent several minutes tossing him around. Steiner threw Joe over the top, but he landed on the apron. Tomko and Steiner started arguing over who would knock him off the apron, until Joe recovered and threw Steiner from the apron. Joe and Tomko squared off in a match, where Joe won with a muscle buster for the pin. An irate Cage came out, and the heels threatened a 3-on-1, but Angle ran in to make it 3-on-2 as the show went off the air.
SUMMARY: Not much for wrestling, but what TNA show is anymore? Watching this head-to-head against Raw really screams out how second-rate TNA is. It’s almost like WCW in 2000. There are too may stars (like Steiner, VKM, Jarrett, Sting) that just come across second-rate in this day and age. It’s time for this company to start building by taking chances on unproven talent, like Sabin, Lethal, Dutt, etc. Sound too risky? Good. Some of those won’t pan out. Others may be great leaders for the future. Ask yourself this. Can this company make a breakthrough with names that were tired seven years ago? Then why should we think they can do anything now?
______________________________________________
When WO says TNA sucks you know it's getting bad...
