TNA IMPACT TV REPORT
Dec 22, 2006 12:54:37 GMT -5
Post by swarm on Dec 22, 2006 12:54:37 GMT -5
TNA Impact TV report
by Jeff Hamlin
TNA 12.21 show
The Big News: Samoa Joe, now a big wussy still won’t grant Kurt Angle a third match between the two, even though they fought almost exclusively in a tag team match on this program. It was the night of a million angles. 7:47 of wrestling aired on a one hour show. The next time you hear someone from TNA whine about too little TV time, remind them that a segment where Ron Killings delivered a Christmas rap was longer than two of the three matches on this show—and we had to watch Lance Hoyt dance.
Sting defeated Kazarian in 1:11. Sting played off the angle from last week, bringing Abyss’ NWA World Heavyweight Title to the ring. This was the long-awaited “debut” of Serotonin, as Matt Bentley and Johnny Devine accompanied Kazarian. After a full month of buildup, they came off as incompetent heels. Bentley, Devine and Kazarian surrounded him with kendo sticks, but Sting fended them all off. Then Kazarian came off the top with a cane shot, and Sting no-sold it. After early punches, Sting went for the Stinger splash, but Bentley held his boot, allowing Kazarian to hit an enzuigiri. Sting didn’t sell that either, and ultimately finished him with a Scorpion Death Drop. Afterwards, Sting told Abyss he wanted to meet him in the ring later in the show, vowing to give the belt back in exchange for a rematch at Final Resolution PPV.
Then Anglemania ran wild, and I don’t mean Kurt. Well, kinda. Don West acknowledged the ankle injury inflicted by Angle last week. It played Angle up to be the face, even though he was total heel the week before.
Jeremy Borash was back doing interviews, spoke with Rhino and Kurt Angle about their tag team match with A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe later in the night. Rhino said he would break Styles’ legs, while Angle vowed Joe would grant him a rematch.
Back in the ring, Raven started caning Kazarian for losing. Mike Tenay said Serotonin was a natural chemical in your brain that alters your judgment. Now I know why Dixie Carter thought Vince McMahon would accept VKM’s challenge.
Backstage, Eric Young ran out with a lamp shaped like a woman’s leg. For anyone who wanted to see the movie “A Christmas Story” used in a wrestling angle, this was the night for you. Young said he believes Miss Brooks wanted a bikini contest rematch. Before I stuck needles in my ears to lessen the pain, Team 3-D came out to remind everyone they jobbed to the Naturals in a tables match last month. Now, they were back from Japan and were set for revenge.
Team 3-D defeated the Naturals in a tables match in 2:04. Just a squash. The Naturals jumped them before the bell, before Brother Ray responded with a double rabbit clothesline. They did a reverse 3-D on Chase Stevens, a wazzup on Andy Douglas, then a power bomb on Douglas (or the Pitbulls’ Super Bomb) through the table. After the match, Shane Douglas said he was through managing the Naturals.
Backstage, Tomko said he had a DVD that would explain Abyss’ past. I was hoping he had the Ring of Honor show where Abyss showed up as a member of Special K. Then I realized if he did, it was necessitate showing wrestling on Impact.
Ron Killings was in the ring rapping while Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams were handing out Christmas gifts. I wondered what the point of this was, then Killings mentioned trying to give up smoking. Later in the show, they aired a PSA of Shane Douglas talking about lung cancer killing his father in 1993. A guess it was either a Spike TV order, or a new sponsor.
The latest PCS event was pogo stick jumping. So TNA makes fun of the WWE having fat guys in thongs. Thing they turn around and have Ed Devorsky in the smallest thong in history trying (and failing) to hop on a pogo stick. How’s that for consistency? Nash ordered Senshi to go first, and Senshi looked at him like he was nuts. Nash said Dutt was from the Isle of Anabolic. Dutt hopped longer than anyone. They looked at Dutt’s shoes, and Nash they were authorized by Bob Backland. Dutt won, Nash wondered how he would look in stirrups while Senshi rolled his eyes. He wasn’t the only one.
The fourth consecutive angle on the show had Brother Runt dressed as Santa Claus throwing out more goodies when LAX came out. Konnan cut such a good promo he turned Santa heel. Konnan said he was mad at Santa because he’s been waiting for years for the Miami Dolphins jersey he asked for back in the day. After being told to go to hell, Runt came in the ring and offered them a gift, then attacked them. Konnan was really hobbling around badly. It ended up with Hernandez giving Santa the border toss. Boy, did it look ridiculous to see Young lead the save with the lamp leg.
VKM was in Knoxville on their way to a WWE house show. BG said now they’re following the WWE on the road, but VKM won’t follow the dress code or the wellness policy. A few scattered fans were chanting VKM, but this is still so lame.
A.J. Styles did an interview saying he didn’t trust Joe. He backed off after Joe walked out of his locker room.
They aired a video recap of America’s Most Wanted breaking up. Then came latest lame Mike Tenay sit-down interview, asking why James Storm broke up the team. Storm said Chris Harris was a prima Donna, and the team wouldn’t be over until he told Harris that in his face.
Abyss came out. Sting told him he needed to stop worrying about his past and worry about the future. Sting asked for a rematch at Final Resolution and extended his hand. Then Christian Cage appeared on the big screen, apparently at a prison. He said he was investigating Abyss’ past. Sting urged Abyss to forget it, and again extended his hand. After a long tease, Abyss grabbed Sting around the throat. Sting fought back and tried the Scorpion Death Lock before security intervened. Then it got really overbooked. Tomko came out demanding to know if Abyss was going to give the rematch to Cage. Meanwhile, Cage, disguised as a member of security, jumped Sting with a knifestick. After cleaning house on security, Cage jumped Abyss. Jim Mitchell came out and started yelling at Abyss. Tomko and Cage double-teamed Sting. Who made the save, you ask? Abyss, who handed Sting his baseball bat back. What happened to the belt? It was never acknowledged. Mitchell was upset at Abyss afterwards. This would have been fine if it was the only angle on the show. Instead, it was the 12th.
A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe defeated Kurt Angle and Rhino in 6:34. Only 4:24 aired. Joe was really hurting. They brawled around ringside early. Fans didn’t know what to make of Joe/Angle, because they’ve both been presented as heels in the program. After a commercial, it wound up in the ring with Rhino giving Styles an Anderson spinebuster. Rhino made a hot tag, gave Joe a german suplex, Styles a flip german suplex, and clotheslined Joe out of the ring. He clamped on the ankle lock on Styles before Joe made the save. Rhino clotheslined Styles, and Angle hit a belly-to-belly on Joe. Rhino went for the gore, and got caught with a kick by Styles, followed by Joe clamping on the Kokina Clutch. Angle made the save, and hit the Olympic Slam. Then Styles cradled Rhino for the cheap pin. Rhino and Styles brawled to the back, while Angle put Joe in the ankle lock. They played it up as if Joe tapped, it would mean he would face Angle again in a singles match. But Joe didn’t tap as the show went to black.
Final Thoughts: In five years, we’ll look back at this time in TNA’s history similar to how we look at WCW in late 1999. Both companies were battling the WWE. In neither case was it realistic to think they could overtake the WWE, but there was an opportunity because the talent was there. Instead, both companies have squandered it playing a game of angles that go nowhere and matches that are too short to mean anything.
Sucks balls isn't even a strong enough way to convey what a peice of crap company TNA has become. Horrible.
by Jeff Hamlin
TNA 12.21 show
The Big News: Samoa Joe, now a big wussy still won’t grant Kurt Angle a third match between the two, even though they fought almost exclusively in a tag team match on this program. It was the night of a million angles. 7:47 of wrestling aired on a one hour show. The next time you hear someone from TNA whine about too little TV time, remind them that a segment where Ron Killings delivered a Christmas rap was longer than two of the three matches on this show—and we had to watch Lance Hoyt dance.
Sting defeated Kazarian in 1:11. Sting played off the angle from last week, bringing Abyss’ NWA World Heavyweight Title to the ring. This was the long-awaited “debut” of Serotonin, as Matt Bentley and Johnny Devine accompanied Kazarian. After a full month of buildup, they came off as incompetent heels. Bentley, Devine and Kazarian surrounded him with kendo sticks, but Sting fended them all off. Then Kazarian came off the top with a cane shot, and Sting no-sold it. After early punches, Sting went for the Stinger splash, but Bentley held his boot, allowing Kazarian to hit an enzuigiri. Sting didn’t sell that either, and ultimately finished him with a Scorpion Death Drop. Afterwards, Sting told Abyss he wanted to meet him in the ring later in the show, vowing to give the belt back in exchange for a rematch at Final Resolution PPV.
Then Anglemania ran wild, and I don’t mean Kurt. Well, kinda. Don West acknowledged the ankle injury inflicted by Angle last week. It played Angle up to be the face, even though he was total heel the week before.
Jeremy Borash was back doing interviews, spoke with Rhino and Kurt Angle about their tag team match with A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe later in the night. Rhino said he would break Styles’ legs, while Angle vowed Joe would grant him a rematch.
Back in the ring, Raven started caning Kazarian for losing. Mike Tenay said Serotonin was a natural chemical in your brain that alters your judgment. Now I know why Dixie Carter thought Vince McMahon would accept VKM’s challenge.
Backstage, Eric Young ran out with a lamp shaped like a woman’s leg. For anyone who wanted to see the movie “A Christmas Story” used in a wrestling angle, this was the night for you. Young said he believes Miss Brooks wanted a bikini contest rematch. Before I stuck needles in my ears to lessen the pain, Team 3-D came out to remind everyone they jobbed to the Naturals in a tables match last month. Now, they were back from Japan and were set for revenge.
Team 3-D defeated the Naturals in a tables match in 2:04. Just a squash. The Naturals jumped them before the bell, before Brother Ray responded with a double rabbit clothesline. They did a reverse 3-D on Chase Stevens, a wazzup on Andy Douglas, then a power bomb on Douglas (or the Pitbulls’ Super Bomb) through the table. After the match, Shane Douglas said he was through managing the Naturals.
Backstage, Tomko said he had a DVD that would explain Abyss’ past. I was hoping he had the Ring of Honor show where Abyss showed up as a member of Special K. Then I realized if he did, it was necessitate showing wrestling on Impact.
Ron Killings was in the ring rapping while Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams were handing out Christmas gifts. I wondered what the point of this was, then Killings mentioned trying to give up smoking. Later in the show, they aired a PSA of Shane Douglas talking about lung cancer killing his father in 1993. A guess it was either a Spike TV order, or a new sponsor.
The latest PCS event was pogo stick jumping. So TNA makes fun of the WWE having fat guys in thongs. Thing they turn around and have Ed Devorsky in the smallest thong in history trying (and failing) to hop on a pogo stick. How’s that for consistency? Nash ordered Senshi to go first, and Senshi looked at him like he was nuts. Nash said Dutt was from the Isle of Anabolic. Dutt hopped longer than anyone. They looked at Dutt’s shoes, and Nash they were authorized by Bob Backland. Dutt won, Nash wondered how he would look in stirrups while Senshi rolled his eyes. He wasn’t the only one.
The fourth consecutive angle on the show had Brother Runt dressed as Santa Claus throwing out more goodies when LAX came out. Konnan cut such a good promo he turned Santa heel. Konnan said he was mad at Santa because he’s been waiting for years for the Miami Dolphins jersey he asked for back in the day. After being told to go to hell, Runt came in the ring and offered them a gift, then attacked them. Konnan was really hobbling around badly. It ended up with Hernandez giving Santa the border toss. Boy, did it look ridiculous to see Young lead the save with the lamp leg.
VKM was in Knoxville on their way to a WWE house show. BG said now they’re following the WWE on the road, but VKM won’t follow the dress code or the wellness policy. A few scattered fans were chanting VKM, but this is still so lame.
A.J. Styles did an interview saying he didn’t trust Joe. He backed off after Joe walked out of his locker room.
They aired a video recap of America’s Most Wanted breaking up. Then came latest lame Mike Tenay sit-down interview, asking why James Storm broke up the team. Storm said Chris Harris was a prima Donna, and the team wouldn’t be over until he told Harris that in his face.
Abyss came out. Sting told him he needed to stop worrying about his past and worry about the future. Sting asked for a rematch at Final Resolution and extended his hand. Then Christian Cage appeared on the big screen, apparently at a prison. He said he was investigating Abyss’ past. Sting urged Abyss to forget it, and again extended his hand. After a long tease, Abyss grabbed Sting around the throat. Sting fought back and tried the Scorpion Death Lock before security intervened. Then it got really overbooked. Tomko came out demanding to know if Abyss was going to give the rematch to Cage. Meanwhile, Cage, disguised as a member of security, jumped Sting with a knifestick. After cleaning house on security, Cage jumped Abyss. Jim Mitchell came out and started yelling at Abyss. Tomko and Cage double-teamed Sting. Who made the save, you ask? Abyss, who handed Sting his baseball bat back. What happened to the belt? It was never acknowledged. Mitchell was upset at Abyss afterwards. This would have been fine if it was the only angle on the show. Instead, it was the 12th.
A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe defeated Kurt Angle and Rhino in 6:34. Only 4:24 aired. Joe was really hurting. They brawled around ringside early. Fans didn’t know what to make of Joe/Angle, because they’ve both been presented as heels in the program. After a commercial, it wound up in the ring with Rhino giving Styles an Anderson spinebuster. Rhino made a hot tag, gave Joe a german suplex, Styles a flip german suplex, and clotheslined Joe out of the ring. He clamped on the ankle lock on Styles before Joe made the save. Rhino clotheslined Styles, and Angle hit a belly-to-belly on Joe. Rhino went for the gore, and got caught with a kick by Styles, followed by Joe clamping on the Kokina Clutch. Angle made the save, and hit the Olympic Slam. Then Styles cradled Rhino for the cheap pin. Rhino and Styles brawled to the back, while Angle put Joe in the ankle lock. They played it up as if Joe tapped, it would mean he would face Angle again in a singles match. But Joe didn’t tap as the show went to black.
Final Thoughts: In five years, we’ll look back at this time in TNA’s history similar to how we look at WCW in late 1999. Both companies were battling the WWE. In neither case was it realistic to think they could overtake the WWE, but there was an opportunity because the talent was there. Instead, both companies have squandered it playing a game of angles that go nowhere and matches that are too short to mean anything.
Sucks balls isn't even a strong enough way to convey what a peice of crap company TNA has become. Horrible.
he deserves better.
