ThePunisher presents "Little Known GWF History"
Aug 1, 2006 22:19:52 GMT -5
Post by ThePunisher on Aug 1, 2006 22:19:52 GMT -5
WARNING: This post, being in the fed forum, is protected due to its parodical nature. I will poke fun at some people. I will swear in compliance with the rules. This is your warning to leave before you see something you don't like.
Oh, and this was largely influenced by Swarm if you couldn't tell(He didn't write any of it but his documentary was the inspiration).
Punisher Presentations proudly brings to the COTG Proboards Community
A piece of Little Known GWF History.
Dateline: Late 2086
As the story goes, Sin carved a skull into Thantos's forehead.
Thantos turned his back to his fans and to his former partners.
In response to this, Omega brought two mysterious newcomers to the GWF. Along with them, they brought
THE CODE
Most historians will tell you the following events never happened. It was a controversy far and wide in the cosmos. Until an audio tape was recently discovered.
It appears there was a meeting to clearly outline this code. Remarkably, the Neptunian Space Croppers led the hero team in the meeting.
Now the audio tape supplemented by a cooperative hero informant:
Beast Rider: For the past years of operation, this fed has operated under an unofficial set of guidelines that have never really been spelled out. Sadly, recent events have made it clear that this state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. So with that, we present the Galactic Code of the GWF!
Omega: Wait. Who's we?
Beast Rider: My partner is running late.
Star Warrior: What the heck is that smell?
Beast Rider: Oh, its probably the "demons" I rode here.
Star Warrior: It smells like cat p***.
Beast Rider: They're demons, damn it! Sorry, well, they are of the feline genus.
Omega: Wait, what do you do again?
Beast Rider: I run a Beast Research Facility on Neptune.
Proteus: So you j**k-off animals?
Actagon (to Proteus): Shhh, brother. You'll get us in trouble. They probably don't understand our Ancient Earth humor.
Commander Sam (to the wall): Are those guys Canadian?
Beast Rider: I do very important work! Can't you tell from the pale yellow of my skin that I don't get out in the sun very often?
Greek Gods: Aye. (Sam raises an eyebrow)
Renegade then bursts through the door.
Renegade: Hey! Sorry I'm late, Beast Rider. I had to pick up those pictures of cat.
Beast Rider: They are demons. For the last time.
Renegade: No, the ones of you and your wife, dummy!
Beast Rider: Oh, well, thank you. I'll decorate my locker later.
Star Warrior: Let's see what your researchin' ass is tappin'.
Omega: Yes, lets see the old ball-and-chain.
Beast Rider: No! We don't have time!
Renegade: Oh come on, big guy! Its not even who you spend your time with (winks).
Beast Rider: Fine.
(a few seconds go by)
Star Warrior: Oh, this is nice photography work. (walks away)
Omega: You wore black? And you didn't wear a tie?
Beast Rider: It was just a wedding. Lay off me.
Proteus: Where you from, Renegade?
Renegade: Neptune.
Proteus: You don't look like it.
Renegade: D**n it, I'm from Oklahoma. You have a problem with that?
Beast Rider: Calm down. Please excuse him, he's very passionate about this.
Actagon: You said Oklahoma?
Renegade: Yes.
Actagon: Where? I think my descendants are from Tulsa.
Renegade: Rose, Oklahoma.
Actagon: Oh I see.
Proteus: So in East Bumblef**k?
Renegade: What?! Omega is my friend. He'll hurt you! (Beast Rider settles him down)
Actagon (To Proteus): Not here, you schmuck.
Proteus: Sorry. I had too many Molsons today.
Actagon: So Renegade, where'd you wrestle?
(Star Warrior quickly grabs Actagon)
Star Warrior: Ummmm...he's an alternate. He was the only guy who Beast Rider would allow to train with him.
Actagon (To Renegade): Nevermind.
Beast Rider: So lets get down to business. Now this code is the most important thing in the entire universe. Mainly because I made it up!
Renegade: Hey I helped!!!!
(Thantos, wearing a skulled T-shirt to match his forehead, barges in)
Star Warrior: Why you rascal.
Thantos: Shut the F**k up.
(The heroes, except Proteus, let out a collective sigh)
Star Warrior: Unacceptable. Get out of here.
Beast Rider: You broke MY code, mister.
Thantos: Shut the f**k up. Your code isn't my code. And mine is all that matters.
Beast Rider: You broke the code. You need to leave the GWF.
Thantos: No. I'm gonna wrestle however I want to. And thats too d**n bad for anyone who doesn't like it.
Star Warrior: Let me at him.
Omega: Settle down, son.
Thantos: Oh, and my associates are going to wrestle however they want.
(The majority of the villian team enters)
Thantos: Omega, how did you even pick these stooges to make "the Code?"
Omega: Well, Beast Rider just sort of made it. I..I..I don't really know.
Beast Rider: And my friends told me to bring Renegade. He's passionate but he's always above board.
Renegade: 24 hours off for you, bucko!
Thantos: Are you on prescription medication?
(Beast Rider starts to whine and Renegade begins punching himself)
Thantos: Take it easy. We're leaving. For now. But for the record, I could snap both of your long-haired necks at the same time. Which is why I have someone more on your level.
Vanity and Creeper enter.
Vanity: You disgust me. (Throws a card on the floor) GO down the street to Rico's. They'll give you both a haircut on me.
All the villians but Thantos leave.
Star Warrior: Hey Beast Rider, wasn't that your w...
Beast Rider: Don't say it!!
(Beast Rider runs out to inspect Creeper)
Thantos: Goodbye, girls.
(Beast Rider reenters, Thantos fakes a punch and Beast Rider folds up like a steel chair)
(Suddenly, Renegade runs and pushes Thantos out of the room. He locks the door)
Renegade: Haha!
Proteus: LOCK IT DOWN!!!! (Passes out from intoxication)
Thantos (from outside): Renegade, I'm going to beat you around the ring like a redheaded stepchild. Nobody else says a word.
Commander Sam: Not so big now. See you in a week.
Thantos: Aren't you the d*******g who edited himself?
(Sam cowers)
The heroes went on to try to impose a code that lacked repercussions for breaking it. It is now 2121 and the code is still repeatedly broken.
In another unknown fact, the Space Croppers originally wrestled under the FDF name until it was decided they weren't fit to defend much.
Terak the Beast Rider continued to be mediocre or worse for his entire career.
Proteus still attends AA meetings weekly.
Commander Sam tarnished his legacy after turning heel and being the focal point of investigations of performance enhancing drugs. He was also accused of tampering (editing?) his opponents.
Omega slipped in a puddle of melted butter and was forced into retirement. While currently being the UFSP president, he is also attempting to launch his own line of buttery popcorn. "It's the butteriest, it's the corniest!"
Thantos became the most feared man in the galaxy and won several GWF Championships. He continued to get laid and get paid far after his retirement from the GWF.
What about Renegade?
A sad story actually. The honorable defender of the code changed his name to Cannibal, severely broke the same code he once defended and started hanging out with creepy old men before fading into obscurity.
That concludes this edition of "Little Known GWF History." For all of us at Punisher Presentations, good night and God bless.
Oh, and this was largely influenced by Swarm if you couldn't tell(He didn't write any of it but his documentary was the inspiration).
Punisher Presentations proudly brings to the COTG Proboards Community
A piece of Little Known GWF History.
Dateline: Late 2086
As the story goes, Sin carved a skull into Thantos's forehead.
Thantos turned his back to his fans and to his former partners.
In response to this, Omega brought two mysterious newcomers to the GWF. Along with them, they brought
THE CODE
Most historians will tell you the following events never happened. It was a controversy far and wide in the cosmos. Until an audio tape was recently discovered.
It appears there was a meeting to clearly outline this code. Remarkably, the Neptunian Space Croppers led the hero team in the meeting.
Now the audio tape supplemented by a cooperative hero informant:
Beast Rider: For the past years of operation, this fed has operated under an unofficial set of guidelines that have never really been spelled out. Sadly, recent events have made it clear that this state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. So with that, we present the Galactic Code of the GWF!
Omega: Wait. Who's we?
Beast Rider: My partner is running late.
Star Warrior: What the heck is that smell?
Beast Rider: Oh, its probably the "demons" I rode here.
Star Warrior: It smells like cat p***.
Beast Rider: They're demons, damn it! Sorry, well, they are of the feline genus.
Omega: Wait, what do you do again?
Beast Rider: I run a Beast Research Facility on Neptune.
Proteus: So you j**k-off animals?
Actagon (to Proteus): Shhh, brother. You'll get us in trouble. They probably don't understand our Ancient Earth humor.
Commander Sam (to the wall): Are those guys Canadian?
Beast Rider: I do very important work! Can't you tell from the pale yellow of my skin that I don't get out in the sun very often?
Greek Gods: Aye. (Sam raises an eyebrow)
Renegade then bursts through the door.
Renegade: Hey! Sorry I'm late, Beast Rider. I had to pick up those pictures of cat.
Beast Rider: They are demons. For the last time.
Renegade: No, the ones of you and your wife, dummy!
Beast Rider: Oh, well, thank you. I'll decorate my locker later.
Star Warrior: Let's see what your researchin' ass is tappin'.
Omega: Yes, lets see the old ball-and-chain.
Beast Rider: No! We don't have time!
Renegade: Oh come on, big guy! Its not even who you spend your time with (winks).
Beast Rider: Fine.
(a few seconds go by)
Star Warrior: Oh, this is nice photography work. (walks away)
Omega: You wore black? And you didn't wear a tie?
Beast Rider: It was just a wedding. Lay off me.
Proteus: Where you from, Renegade?
Renegade: Neptune.
Proteus: You don't look like it.
Renegade: D**n it, I'm from Oklahoma. You have a problem with that?
Beast Rider: Calm down. Please excuse him, he's very passionate about this.
Actagon: You said Oklahoma?
Renegade: Yes.
Actagon: Where? I think my descendants are from Tulsa.
Renegade: Rose, Oklahoma.
Actagon: Oh I see.
Proteus: So in East Bumblef**k?
Renegade: What?! Omega is my friend. He'll hurt you! (Beast Rider settles him down)
Actagon (To Proteus): Not here, you schmuck.
Proteus: Sorry. I had too many Molsons today.
Actagon: So Renegade, where'd you wrestle?
(Star Warrior quickly grabs Actagon)
Star Warrior: Ummmm...he's an alternate. He was the only guy who Beast Rider would allow to train with him.
Actagon (To Renegade): Nevermind.
Beast Rider: So lets get down to business. Now this code is the most important thing in the entire universe. Mainly because I made it up!
Renegade: Hey I helped!!!!
(Thantos, wearing a skulled T-shirt to match his forehead, barges in)
Star Warrior: Why you rascal.
Thantos: Shut the F**k up.
(The heroes, except Proteus, let out a collective sigh)
Star Warrior: Unacceptable. Get out of here.
Beast Rider: You broke MY code, mister.
Thantos: Shut the f**k up. Your code isn't my code. And mine is all that matters.
Beast Rider: You broke the code. You need to leave the GWF.
Thantos: No. I'm gonna wrestle however I want to. And thats too d**n bad for anyone who doesn't like it.
Star Warrior: Let me at him.
Omega: Settle down, son.
Thantos: Oh, and my associates are going to wrestle however they want.
(The majority of the villian team enters)
Thantos: Omega, how did you even pick these stooges to make "the Code?"
Omega: Well, Beast Rider just sort of made it. I..I..I don't really know.
Beast Rider: And my friends told me to bring Renegade. He's passionate but he's always above board.
Renegade: 24 hours off for you, bucko!
Thantos: Are you on prescription medication?
(Beast Rider starts to whine and Renegade begins punching himself)
Thantos: Take it easy. We're leaving. For now. But for the record, I could snap both of your long-haired necks at the same time. Which is why I have someone more on your level.
Vanity and Creeper enter.
Vanity: You disgust me. (Throws a card on the floor) GO down the street to Rico's. They'll give you both a haircut on me.
All the villians but Thantos leave.
Star Warrior: Hey Beast Rider, wasn't that your w...
Beast Rider: Don't say it!!
(Beast Rider runs out to inspect Creeper)
Thantos: Goodbye, girls.
(Beast Rider reenters, Thantos fakes a punch and Beast Rider folds up like a steel chair)
(Suddenly, Renegade runs and pushes Thantos out of the room. He locks the door)
Renegade: Haha!
Proteus: LOCK IT DOWN!!!! (Passes out from intoxication)
Thantos (from outside): Renegade, I'm going to beat you around the ring like a redheaded stepchild. Nobody else says a word.
Commander Sam: Not so big now. See you in a week.
Thantos: Aren't you the d*******g who edited himself?
(Sam cowers)
The heroes went on to try to impose a code that lacked repercussions for breaking it. It is now 2121 and the code is still repeatedly broken.
In another unknown fact, the Space Croppers originally wrestled under the FDF name until it was decided they weren't fit to defend much.
Terak the Beast Rider continued to be mediocre or worse for his entire career.
Proteus still attends AA meetings weekly.
Commander Sam tarnished his legacy after turning heel and being the focal point of investigations of performance enhancing drugs. He was also accused of tampering (editing?) his opponents.
Omega slipped in a puddle of melted butter and was forced into retirement. While currently being the UFSP president, he is also attempting to launch his own line of buttery popcorn. "It's the butteriest, it's the corniest!"
Thantos became the most feared man in the galaxy and won several GWF Championships. He continued to get laid and get paid far after his retirement from the GWF.
What about Renegade?
A sad story actually. The honorable defender of the code changed his name to Cannibal, severely broke the same code he once defended and started hanging out with creepy old men before fading into obscurity.
That concludes this edition of "Little Known GWF History." For all of us at Punisher Presentations, good night and God bless.