IWC UNWRITTEN RULES

[swarm]

After observing the behavior of the Internet smarks, I've come up with rules that illustrate the way the Internet Wrestling Community works.

Feel free to add

1. Vince is the Devil and directly responsible for everything that goes wrong with the world.

2. Money is nothing.

3. Kurt Angle became 100% healthy the day he signed his TNA contract.

4. Anything recent is crap, the old times were good (despite being as bad or ten times worse at times.)

5. The fans that cheer for Cena now do so because they booed him in the past, caved in and stopped fighting it.

6. ROH is the best wrestling company in the world, bar none.

7. Triple H has backstage power and has buried everyone since 2003.

8. Hogan has backstage power and refuses to job.

9. Snitsky is awesome, despite being a hoss that the smarks despise.

10. Cena sucks yet has put on **** matches for over a year now.

11. If the favorite loses a match, he is being buried.

12. If a favorite is being in midcard matches after main eventing one time, he is being depushed.

13. If a guy from WCW goes to the WWE and never wins the world title, it's HHH's fault.

14. In real-life, big boobs are good. In wrestling, they are bad.

15. TNA is going to turn it around any day now.

16. WWE is going out of business any day now.

17. Paul London should be 10 time World Champion.

18. HHH doesn't deserve a job.

19. Anybody who weighs less than 150lbs. is a God.

20. The Six Sided Ring is cool.

21. The Umaga character was supposed to go to Samoa Joe but he turned Vince down, spit in his face, and ate a whole box of donuts in 3 seconds to celebrate.

22. RAW sucks every week no matter what.

23. if anything at all happens that is even the least foreseeable, it's stupid and the writers have no imagination.

24. All the diva's are fake and ugly even though you are a dateless, nasty, fat, zit infested nerd.

25. Sandman is a great worker.

26. Incredible Badger is coming back in 2122.

27. They claim at least 5 times a year that they are "Never watching WWE again!"

28. If you were born in 1992, you will probably talk about an event in 1988 as if you were there to witness it.

29. Being a prick or rotten human being only matters when you have "bad work rate" (see Warrior). If you have good work rate, it's overlooked (see Shawn Michaels).

30. Smackdown is better than Raw even though Raw has more viewers and is higher rated each week.

31. C.M. Punk must never lose or he is being buried.

32. Older wrestlers should always job to younger talent, unless that older wrestler is Ric Flair, HBK, The Undertaker or an ECW Original.

33. Anything Swarm likes you must automatically hate.

34. All the WWE PPV's suck even though your cheap a** never buys or watches any of them.

35. ECW is a failure because it averages a 1.4 rating or higher even though the "Old ECW" never averaged more than a 1.0 rating very often.

[dukedave]

swarm said:

33. Anything Swarm likes you must automatically hate.

I hate this topic. ;D

[BDS]

Alright, I answered "I agree" to:

1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12, 20, and 21

That makes me 25.7% Smark according to the Swarm Scale. ;D

[Hegemony]

I got 6,7,8,30,33, & 35. I give an asterisk to #10 because I can count 2 four star matches from Cena over the past year, which doesn't mean he has been putting them on all year. Also an asterisk to #21, since I doubt there was any spitting or celebratory donuts, but I don't know for a fact.

So I got 6 right and two at half credit for 7 total out of 35. I am 20% Internet smark accoring to Swarm.

[Aquinas]

I thought maybe there'd be a Swarm Rules one with entries like

1) Vince McMahon is God and everything he does makes perfect sense
2) If WWE and a non-WWE fed do equally stupid angles, the non-WWE fed's idea is automatically worse.
3) John Cena's **** matches are relative. They are **** matches because WWE's standards aren't particularly high anymore.
4) There is no such thing as favoritism in wrestling. Being the son-in-law of the federation's owner, and having been associated with the most powerful clique in wrestling back when you were getting started have NOTHING to do with power in the company.
5) Test is capable of good matches because he's in a WWE fed.
6) The Great Khali is good despite zero charisma and 2, maybe 3 moves (done in slow-motion)

There are more, but I have to leave

[swarm]

36) Smarks are original and always come up with great ideas once someone else already has.

aquinas said:

I thought maybe there'd be a Swarm Rules one with entries like

1) Vince McMahon is God and everything he does makes perfect sense
2) If WWE and a non-WWE fed do equally stupid angles, the non-WWE fed's idea is automatically worse.
3) John Cena's **** matches are relative. They are **** matches because WWE's standards aren't particularly high anymore.
4) There is no such thing as favoritism in wrestling. Being the son-in-law of the federation's owner, and having been associated with the most powerful clique in wrestling back when you were getting started have NOTHING to do with power in the company.
5) Test is capable of good matches because he's in a WWE fed.
6) The Great Khali is good despite zero charisma and 2, maybe 3 moves (done in slow-motion)

[bmurderh8s]

You do realize Swarm that the mere fact that you talk about wrestling on the internet sorta makes you an internet smark. You just happen to like the WWE. You basically say the same thing all the internet smarks do, except you have the exact opposite opinion.

WWE sucks / WWE rules
Samoa Joe is awesome / Samoa Joe sucks
Cena is a bad wrestler / Cena puts on 4 star matches every night

see my point.

Wrestling fans talk about wrestling on the internet, the casual wrestling fan usually doesn't. Thats why you see so much hatred towards the E. Because the real *hardcore* wrestling fans think the E is crap (for the most part). Most casual fans think the E is awesomeness personified.

*Hardcore* wrestling fans just, for the most part, have different tastes then say the casual fan. They demand a lot out of their wrestling and don't feel they should expect anything less then quality from a wrestling product. They don't automatically think something is good based on ratings, they watch the shows, the matches, and the angles to decide if what they are seeing is to their liking. What the ratings are is merely secondary. They are simply an indicator as to how many people watched the show. They do not determine the aesthetic quality. Although apparently some would argue it does...but just check out the TV ratings sometime, some of the shows that do well, aethetically are complete crap.

and for the record, old ECW was better then new ECW no matter what the ratings are. You are most definitely in the minority with that opinion. WWE is the largest company in north america, of course WWECW would get decent ratings. Its getting advertised and pulling in their already established fanbase. I'm sure WWECW isn't making any new fans. Old ECW never got advertisement on TNN except for when their Friday night show was actually airing. And lets be honest, how many people actually watched TNN? That station sucked. Rollerjam?!?! give me a break.

ECW helped pioneered an era in wrestling. No comparison..OLD ECW DESTROYS WWECW.

[Eliath]

Well I am 0% smark on the Swarm scale because I don't agree with a single thing on the list. Most are silly (ref: 1, 4, 13, 15, 23 & 30) and a few are down right hilarious (ref: 2, 6, 11, 14, 16, 25, 31, 32 & 33)

and for anyone who agrees with #18..the man tore his quadricep away from the bone and STILL finished the match...he finished the match people...there isn't anyone else in wrestling today that deserves a job more than HHH in my opinion...

[bmurderh8s]

I'd rather see Dreadnaught back in 2122 then Incredible Badger.

I agreed with :
1,7,8,10,21,22,30,31, and 35*

*The new ECW is a failure because it sucks. It Has bad wrestlers that would suck no matter what company they worked for (with a few exceptions), the writing is bad, it has no direction. and it lost the two things that actually made it interesting in the beginning. Heyman and the rabid fans.

I agreed with 9 out of the possible 35. I'm not doing the math.

[Eliath]

bmurderh8s said:

*Hardcore* wrestling fans just, for the most part, have different tastes then say the casual fan. They demand a lot out of their wrestling and don't feel they should expect anything less then quality from a wrestling product. They don't automatically think something is good based on ratings, they watch the shows, the matches, and the angles to decide if what they are seeing is to their liking. What the ratings are is merely secondary. They are simply an indicator as to how many people watched the show. They do not determine the aesthetic quality. Although apparently some would argue it does...but just check out the TV ratings sometime, some of the shows that do well, aethetically are complete crap.

Absolutely agreed. Very well said.

ECW helped pioneered an era in wrestling. No comparison..OLD ECW DESTROYS WWECW.

I agree that old ECW pioneered the era of HARDCORE...but I think that because of its lack of exposure on TNN was what caused the problem. The fans were all that it had going for it and in turn that is exactly who ECW tailored their experience to...to those diehard, hardcore fans. I think the difference with WWECW and where it goes wrong from the original is that it doesn't tailor itself to the diehard, hardcore fans like the old ECW did..it is more mainstream meant to expose everyone to hardcore-lite...because I have not seen Gangsta New Jack jumping from the second tier of the arena down on his opponent in WWECW..that is just TOO hardcore for the hardcore-lite fans that WWECW is tailored to.

Just my opinion on this.

[bmurderh8s]

eliath said:

Well I am 0% smark on the Swarm scale because I don't agree with a single thing on the list. Most are silly (ref: 1, 4, 13, 15, 23 & 30) and a few are down right hilarious (ref: 2, 6, 11, 14, 16, 25, 31, 32 & 33)

and for anyone who agrees with #18..the man tore his quadricep away from the bone and STILL finished the match...he finished the match people...there isn't anyone else in wrestling today that deserves a job more than HHH in my opinion...

Plus he's banging the bosses daugher. That helps.

[Eliath]

besides..WWECW is not as bad as TNA right now...but it is not good either.

[Eliath]

Plus he's banging the bosses daugher. That helps.

You have to admit that it had more to do with his guts to finish the match than it did that he's banging the boss' daughter.

But you are right..Im sure it played a part. LOL

[bmurderh8s]

eliath said:

Plus he's banging the bosses daugher. That helps.

You have to admit that it had more to do with his guts to finish the match than it did that he's banging the boss' daughter.

But you are right..Im sure it played a part. LOL

I just mean with the pull backstage. I'm sure HHH has a lot of influence as to what goes down booking wise. Politics are just as much a part of pro wrestling as they are a part of government.

[bmurderh8s]

eliath said:

besides..WWECW is not as bad as TNA right now...but it is not good either.

Which sucks because TNA for the most part, has better talent.

[Eliath]

I just mean with the pull backstage. I'm sure HHH has a lot of influence as to what goes down booking wise. Politics are just as much a part of pro wrestling as they are a part of government.

Definately agree there.

[Eliath]

Which sucks because TNA for the most part, has better talent.

So what do you think about my thoughts of ECW?

[bmurderh8s]

eliath said:

Which sucks because TNA for the most part, has better talent.

So what do you think about my thoughts of ECW?

Of course ECW's product catered to the diehard wrestling fans. Heyman had no interest in entertaining the casual fan. That wasn't what ECW was about. ECW was a wrestling product for wrestling fans. Especially for the ones that were growing increasingly upset with what WWF(E) and WCW were doing. When ECW came along wrestling was dying a slow death, and they, along with the whole nWo angle helped give pro wraslin a second life so to speak.

ECW could of survived, they had the fan support to survive. They signed a 3 year deal with TNN and then got screwed over about a year in when TNN began negotiating with the WWE. During that time Heyman couldn't talk with other networks because of their agreement. He had to wait until TNN announced publicly that they were going to drop ECW. Because of that, ECW took a lot of damage and couldn't do anything to get out of the way. They began losing more and more money, and by the time TNN kicked them off the air, they had lost so much money that the situation had become terminal.

When they finally were free to talk to other networks nobody wanted to pick them up because ECW looked like a bad investment. So in a sense, VKM is slightly responsible for the death of ECW. And for that he'll never get any mercy from ECW marks or smarks in general. he indirectly helped kill one of the last true wrestling companies in Ameirca.

Having said that, the blame is still soley on the shoulders of Heyman. he never should of signed that deal with TNN.

[Aquinas]

Okay, I will grant that HHH appears to bust his tail and DOES have talent. I don't think he's undeserving in that regard. But I think it's also very obvious he has "stroke" in the federation. Starting back when the Clique was dominating, and continuing now with his marriage to The Boss' daughter.

[swarm]

aquinas said:

Okay, I will grant that HHH appears to bust his tail and DOES have talent. I don't think he's undeserving in that regard. But I think it's also very obvious he has "stroke" in the federation. Starting back when the Clique was dominating, and continuing now with his marriage to The Boss' daughter.

HHH is, for the most part, responsible for the nWo...

He's made guys like Benoit, Batista, and Cena...

He has proved twice now, he can tear a quad and finish a match, even when the match involves a brutal table spot.

He's pretty much a wrestling God and could fart in my dinner tonight and I'd be cool with it.

As far as I'm concerned he can do whatever the hell he wants to do, banging the boss' daughter or not.