Marriage

[offspring515]

I don't have any close female friends, but I'm sure if I had a close female friend who was hanging all over me my wife would take issue with it.

Question to you: If the shoe was on the other foot and your wife had an "old friend" hanging around and hugging up on her, how cool with that would you be?

Soug is starting to sound a whole lot like those guys I used to work with.

[swo]

offspring...you're a clown !!

First off she never "hung all over me ". She'd hug me hello and goodbye. But the wife wasnt used to such a thing. I understood and it stopped.
Second, I have no problem with my wifes "old friends ".If she goes out with her male friends...no problem.
Infact ever couple of weeks we do our own thing. As long as we tell each other who we're going out with and where ( respectful thing to do ), it's cool.We know the boundaries.

offspring, you sound like those people who say that men and woman cant be friends.....that's sad !!
Grow up buddy.

[offspring515]

That was a very rude response. I thought better of you.

I think men and women can be friends. However I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out why some people would have an issue with that.

But I'm done debating the good and bad or marriage. Some people aren't cut out for it. Some are. Some are made to marry for life, others for just a bit. So do whatever you want, say whatever you want, marry again or dont. I could really not care less at this point.

If there is anymore name calling or petty insults you need to get out of your system feel free though. That stuff's bad to keep inside sport.

[swo]

I apologize for my response.
It just made me mad when you lumped me in with the "guys at work ".
My view is an honest one. Marriage is good but very hard work. It's hard enough dealing with yourself....when you add another person it's even harder. Life would be easier without it.
There's a difference about regretting doing something and not doing it again once you've had the experience.
I dont regret getting married. I love my wife she's awesome. I just wouldnt do it again.
As for being cut out for it....I think, actually, I know I am. I remain happy where others have fallen by the way side.I mean, just look at the divorce rate...it's terrible.
Maybe I'm going through a phase. Wanting to relive the "glory years ". ( oh they were great times ;D) Who knows, if I hadn't gotten married I might be miserable !

Just to wrap up. Marriage is good....but very hard work...whether you are honest enough to admit it or not.
To those who are married ( myself included ) God bless. You've done a great job.
To those thinking of getting married...DONT DO IT !! ;D ;D ;D

[Eliath]

YES to both.

[Trent Lawless]

swo said:

Oh, let me ask you guys.....have you female friends ? And are your wives cool with it ?

One of my best friends ever, although we live a few states apart now, is a woman. We hung out a lot during school but never dated. (Had she asked me out, though, I would've done it.) Honestly, we never would've worked as a couple and I think we both realized that. But even though I only get to see her once every couple of years or so, if she needed me for anything, I'd do anything I could to help out. My wife knows that, and she likes my friend, too.

It is possible for men and women to be friends, but from a guy's point of view, it's harder to keep the sexual tension out of it. My wife had the same kind of friend in college and I'm convinced that if she had asked him if he'd wanted to "do the deed" with her, he would've done it, but she insists I'm wrong. I'm of the opinion that for 99% of unattached guys, if they have a female friend that asks them that question, they'll say yes. I could be wrong, and that's a whole other discussion, but I know I would've been one of them and all my close guy friends would've, too!

[swo]

I totally understand where you're coming from Mark. Most guys would. But, my friend and I are like brother and sister. I dont look at her in a sexual way. Never made a move on each other ever ! ( over 20 years )
And that's why I found it hard, at first , to understand my wifes disapproval.I guess I had to step back and look at it like one of "those guys ". My friend is slim, blonde and good looking. I guess my wife was just intimidated.....which I guess is fair enough.
Even to this day my wife thinks something happened in the past. It's not good...but we work at it.
Remember....marriage is hard work . ;D

[mwjergs]

Marriage has been great for me. I'm glad that I waited, enjoyed myself and was ready on my own terms to do it. I love thinking about the old times but wouldn't trade what I have now with children at all. No question, it is hard work.