Apology to Swarm & Everyone
Mar 19, 2006 3:27:16 GMT -5
Post by tafkaga on Mar 19, 2006 3:27:16 GMT -5
I was originally going to just send a PM to Swarm, but I feel that this concerns the whole community. Our little feud has been fought in front of the community, so the apology certainly should be seen by the community as well.
I am a pretty mellow guy in real life, but I've been anything but mellow over the last 3 months. Swarm and I don't like each other. In every forum I frequent, there's usually one guy who really irritates me... and most of the time that guy is very similar to Swarm. Before you get the idea that I'm just going to blame Swarm again, I'm not. If a great percentage of this community were fighting with Swarm like I am, I might place the full blame on him... but that's not the case. After looking long and hard at this situation, I can only conclude that a big part of this problem is me and my low-tolerance threshold.
The other day I went off on Swarm in another thread that's here in the Announcements section. It was completely undeserved. I wasn't even mad at Swarm. I was mad at Chris Ingersoll, because he had just deleted another thread that Swarm and I had come to blows in. The thread was deleted right after I'd typed "Put Swarm In His Place Post #332B". In the history of my conflict with Swarm, Chris has never ruled the way I wanted him to, and I interpreted this as his taking Swarm's side. I was wrong... it was an accident... and in the end the only guy who comes off looking like a total ass is me. #1, I jumped to conclusions... and #2, I went off on Swarm for something that he had nothing to do with.
I need to apologize to you Swarm, because I've never been a coward in my life...and I've never had a problem with admitting when I'm wrong. I just couldn't see that I was wrong until today, but everyone is wrong sometimes. I am not going to take all responsibility for the flame wars we've had. I will take half though. Your personality provoked me, so I provoked you. You then did your best to irritate me, so I did my best to irritate you. You sent me threats, I tried my hardest to get you permanently banned and left the forum when it didn't happen. You sent me insults in e-mails, I turned you in to your employer. You turned me into a recurring semi-retarded character in your fed, and I spent 10 hours of my life that I'll never get back again flaming you like a madman.
See, I'm not going to go easy on you here...because I'm not going to kiss anybody's butt. But what I can honestly say is that when I look at the history of our conflict, I recognize the fact that you're not all to blame. I recognize the fact that I was a hypocrite, as gatekeeper said. While I was talking about how childish you were and how bad you were making the COTG community look, I was doing the exact same damn thing. In fact, you probably would not have made threats had I not kept irritating you. You would not have insulted me in e-mail had I not gotten you banned. You wouldn't have made an ass of me in your fed had I not already made an even bigger ass of myself. In my opinion our feud is stupider than anything I've seen in professional wrestling, or in Kindergarden for that matter. We lower the community's standards by continuing it.
For my part in this, I accept responsibility. I accept blame. I deserve to be banned, frankly, and I would have no hard feelings if you decided to do it.
Swarm, I forgive you... and maybe some day you will forgive me too.
To the community, I apologize. As stated above, in my effort to improve the community I actually made it look bad. In my attempts to remove something that I found irritating, I became the most irritating person on the forum. In my effort to make an ass of someone else, I made an even bigger ass of myself. It was unintentional and unrealized... but it is never the less true.
This is not an attempt to make friends or to make anyone, including Swarm, to change their feelings about me. Go on with the Plethador thing if it makes you happy. It really doesn't bother me, and there's nothing anyone could say to me that would make me look worse than I've made myself look.
I've been playing the game for 5 years and before last December I never had any problems getting along with people here. I don't want to screw all of that up because of one stupid flame war. I have the greatest respect for Tom Filsinger and for a lot of the people in this community. It's a quality game, quality community, with quality people. I should be contributing to that, not subtracting from it with childishness.
If you want to lock this go ahead. I'm putting this in the past.
I am a pretty mellow guy in real life, but I've been anything but mellow over the last 3 months. Swarm and I don't like each other. In every forum I frequent, there's usually one guy who really irritates me... and most of the time that guy is very similar to Swarm. Before you get the idea that I'm just going to blame Swarm again, I'm not. If a great percentage of this community were fighting with Swarm like I am, I might place the full blame on him... but that's not the case. After looking long and hard at this situation, I can only conclude that a big part of this problem is me and my low-tolerance threshold.
The other day I went off on Swarm in another thread that's here in the Announcements section. It was completely undeserved. I wasn't even mad at Swarm. I was mad at Chris Ingersoll, because he had just deleted another thread that Swarm and I had come to blows in. The thread was deleted right after I'd typed "Put Swarm In His Place Post #332B". In the history of my conflict with Swarm, Chris has never ruled the way I wanted him to, and I interpreted this as his taking Swarm's side. I was wrong... it was an accident... and in the end the only guy who comes off looking like a total ass is me. #1, I jumped to conclusions... and #2, I went off on Swarm for something that he had nothing to do with.
I need to apologize to you Swarm, because I've never been a coward in my life...and I've never had a problem with admitting when I'm wrong. I just couldn't see that I was wrong until today, but everyone is wrong sometimes. I am not going to take all responsibility for the flame wars we've had. I will take half though. Your personality provoked me, so I provoked you. You then did your best to irritate me, so I did my best to irritate you. You sent me threats, I tried my hardest to get you permanently banned and left the forum when it didn't happen. You sent me insults in e-mails, I turned you in to your employer. You turned me into a recurring semi-retarded character in your fed, and I spent 10 hours of my life that I'll never get back again flaming you like a madman.
See, I'm not going to go easy on you here...because I'm not going to kiss anybody's butt. But what I can honestly say is that when I look at the history of our conflict, I recognize the fact that you're not all to blame. I recognize the fact that I was a hypocrite, as gatekeeper said. While I was talking about how childish you were and how bad you were making the COTG community look, I was doing the exact same damn thing. In fact, you probably would not have made threats had I not kept irritating you. You would not have insulted me in e-mail had I not gotten you banned. You wouldn't have made an ass of me in your fed had I not already made an even bigger ass of myself. In my opinion our feud is stupider than anything I've seen in professional wrestling, or in Kindergarden for that matter. We lower the community's standards by continuing it.
For my part in this, I accept responsibility. I accept blame. I deserve to be banned, frankly, and I would have no hard feelings if you decided to do it.
Swarm, I forgive you... and maybe some day you will forgive me too.
To the community, I apologize. As stated above, in my effort to improve the community I actually made it look bad. In my attempts to remove something that I found irritating, I became the most irritating person on the forum. In my effort to make an ass of someone else, I made an even bigger ass of myself. It was unintentional and unrealized... but it is never the less true.
This is not an attempt to make friends or to make anyone, including Swarm, to change their feelings about me. Go on with the Plethador thing if it makes you happy. It really doesn't bother me, and there's nothing anyone could say to me that would make me look worse than I've made myself look.
I've been playing the game for 5 years and before last December I never had any problems getting along with people here. I don't want to screw all of that up because of one stupid flame war. I have the greatest respect for Tom Filsinger and for a lot of the people in this community. It's a quality game, quality community, with quality people. I should be contributing to that, not subtracting from it with childishness.
If you want to lock this go ahead. I'm putting this in the past.
