House of Wax (If you can call them spoilers)

[Shon Maxx]

My fiancee picked up House of Wax the other day, and if you haven't seen it...AVOID IT LIKE A PLAGUE!!!

I've seen worse plots, but I've never seen characters so brain-dead. Heck, the supervisors in Office Space were smarter than these people.

Who goes into a stranger's house and pokes through his personal belongings? Who wanders into a deserted town at night...and separates???

At one point, the 2 remaining kids were hiding from the killers in the basement when they find an electric control panel. You know, a master panel similar to the ones all houses have, except this works for the entire town. I feel it'd be very clear to anyone with the IQ of a rock or higher than hitting any switch on that panel will turn on a lte somewhere so the killers no exactly where the kids are, since there's only one panel. So what do the kids do? They hit every single switch on it!

At another point, the kids are in the main room of the House of Wax, when one killer stumbles in ("stumbles" because he is deformed). The kids have the front door within leaping distance and the stairs nearby as well. Guess which direction they go!

I have yelled at the TV during Hockey and wrestling. Heck, I've even yelled at the TV during video games (Big Bri knows this feeling). But this was the first time I yelled at the TV during a movie. I'm not kidding; I was nearly screaming, "Just stab yourselves and get it over with!!!"

I made this post for two reasons. One to vent and two to warn all others away. If you decide you'd like to see the stupidity for yourself, go ahead. But please...please...Please...borrow it, rent it, or watch it on cable. Paying even $10 for it will make you want to poor hot wax over your own face.

Take care,

Jay

[Splattercat]

That's Hot... ;D

[markoda]

You are so right on this one.

This movie sucked! and another one to avoid is the remake of THE FOG! Not only did they change the ending, but the acting was atrocious. Of course it had the blond chick from Lost, she couldn't act there and she can't act on the movie either. Thank god she is not on lost anymore either.

Alright, I feel better now. I thought I was the only one who thought it sucked.

Later,

Bo

[steelthunder814]

golde rule of remakes: WATCH THE ORIGINAL!!!!

I avoided this the Texas Chainsaw, Amityville Horror and will avoid Friday the 13th and Halloween when its remade....

[Matt]

What did you expect from a movie with Paris Hilton in it?

[gwffantrav]

matt said:

What did you expect from a movie with Paris Hilton in it?

Matt beat me to the punch on that one!! Avoid spending $$$$ on anything with Paris Hilton's name on it.

BTW, speaking of old nasty, did anyone see the guy in London that made the new cover for the Hilton album and replaced a bunch of them in stores

[Werner Mueck]

I agree with a lot of what you're saying but hey, Paris Hilton is killed in this one... you got to give the movie credit for that Not all horror remakes are crap though..... Night of the Living Dead 90, the recent Dawn of the Dead remake, John Carpenter's The Thing, House on Haunted Hill, The Texas Chainsaw remake wasn't all that bad. I liked all of these (I know that doesn't mean they're good but I watch a lot of horror movies and I liked them). Heck, I even liked the Blob remake (which may ruin my credibility right there). Good rule though, watch the original first.

As for the Fog remake, I still don't know what the hell happened at the end. They pretty much blew that one.

Bladeflyer's post reminds me of the opening scene of Scary Movie where Carmen Electra is running away from the killer, she passes a table with a few knives, a gun, and a banana on them and she runs off with the banana.

By the way, after bringing House of Wax home... is the engagement still on?

[Shon Maxx]

Yes, the engagement is still on. It was her $, not mine. Maybe she'll let me sell it back to EB games to use towards getting Lego Star Wars next week.

Okay, Paris Hilton's death was one of the few good points of the movie (no pun intended about 'point').

Paris was being chased by the killer, and she had about 4 cars in between them. The way the killer was stumbling, she could have gotten to Alaska before he even got outside. What does she do? She hides (in plain sight) in a car! This is one time I truly believe that someone deserved to die!

I loved the original House of Wax, and I agree that a lot of times, remakes are terrible.


Take care,

Jay

[vansabu]

She was playing herself? She would absolutly hide there in real life. The Fog remake was decent.

[thefamoustommyz]

steelthunder814 said:

golde rule of remakes: WATCH THE ORIGINAL!!!!

I avoided this the Texas Chainsaw, Amityville Horror and will avoid Friday the 13th and Halloween when its remade....

I still maintain that the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake is better than the original, if for no other reason than becaus the original had the single most annoying cast of victims I have ever seen, and I believe that a good horror movie has to have at least one sympathetic character. (I was rooting for Biel by the end).

And the first Night of the Living Dead remake, by Tom Savini, is as good as the original, IMHO, but only because Savini treated the source material with so much love and respect.

[gwffantrav]

Tommy, you mean to tell me you thought Franklin, the brother in TCM, was annoying?!? What movie were you watching!